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The Vampire Angel 'all read' by ~adurna-rose:iconadurna-rose:



I was giving up. I had walked in the woods for days, there seemed like no point in fighting anymore. My head was light, my throat burned in its quest for cool, clear water. My stomach burned from the days without food. I finally collapsed against a moss-covered log in the forest, and let my eyes close. In that time the jaws of darkness closed in, and the sun disappeared while I lied unconscious. When I awoke, the angle came.
It wore a loose white robe that seemed to emanate light somehow. What was left of my dead mind was instantly calmed by its approach. Its feet I could see moving but never seemed to touch the moss as it flowed towards me. What was astonishing was the feeling that what was approaching was something not of this world or the next, but the sheer beauty of it made it not matter. Though I wanted to go to it neither my arms nor my legs could seem to move. That didn’t seem to matter because it was moving to me.
Its face was in view in a moment, causing me to loose my breath. A startling cascade blonde hair just shaded its eyes, somehow its hair rippled though there was no wind. It kneeled down next to me, and as it did it met my gaze. Its eyes were green with flecks of the purest gold, but the most astonishing thing was the way they seemed to pierce my soul. We looked at each other for a while; I don’t know whether it was minutes or hours, before the eyes closed.
Its head descended towards mine till our lips were almost touching. I thought for a moment that it was going to kiss me. Then it inhaled and I felt the air being pulled from my lungs. There was more then air though, somehow every fragment of energy in my body was being pulled from me. There was no pain and I felt strangely glad to give my life and soul to this vampire. The moment before I lost consciousness, the angel opened its eyes. It gave a smile before my eyes closed, and I knew no more.
©2008-2009 ~adurna-rose
:iconadurna-rose:

Author's Comments

Still needs a little editing, but I'm happy with the basic idea. I'm not quite sure about the last paragraph.
For the third sentence of the last paragraph I'm thinking maybe 'There was more then air though, I somehow knew that my very soul was being pulled from my body.' instead.

Please Comment and Critique!!! I need help!
Kind of an expierimental style for me, I want to know what you think.

Comments


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:iconweathered-not-wilted:
Hi it's James. i think the last paragraph could feel more peaceful or dark depending on which way you want to go but over all it was great I'm waiting for more.
:iconfangedlizard:
if you knew no more how did you write this? that phrase usually means that you are dead

--
Never Mess With a Panalwalking Duck, Fred
:iconadurna-rose:
It means that charactor died yes, but does it matter how they wrote it? I was looking for a bit more constructiv critisism with the writing style.

--
"If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;"-Kipling

[link] Aragorn is Mine! ha ha Bishie Stalker club rocks!
:iconadurna-rose:
thanks. I'm just not sure how i could go farther with it. Kraig thiks that I just need to expand it but Im not quite sure how to do that except with descriptions. What do you think of the writing style though? It was written so you can imagine it how you want, so it can be dark or peacful or many other things. This was a bit of an expieriment for me but really fun.
On another note, James, do you not mind reading the written stuff unless ti has an * from now on. This is kind of my outlet on here, and I don't want everyone to know what I'm thinking all the time.
And if your there, what did you call me about last night? I tried to call you this morning.

--
"If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;"-Kipling

[link] Aragorn is Mine! ha ha Bishie Stalker club rocks!
:iconfangedlizard:
sorry I is havin' a little bit of light headed ness

--
Never Mess With a Panalwalking Duck, Fred

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July 25, 2008
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